One of the ways in which we handicap our lives so that they get bogged down … is the belief system that runs a constant scenario that it is "us" against the world – usually a world that is out to get us or do us wrong.

This is called survival mode.
The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. -- William James

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. -- Henri Bergson

How often have you wanted to change an aspect of your life, only to find that aspect repeating itself again and again? Repeatable patterns of behavior and choice-making are forged by success and pleasure... and stress and fear.

Humans are very adept at adaptation. Whatever our life-experience is, if we maintain it long enough, we adapt to it. Even when it's uncomfortable. Ben Franklin once said that a person only needs to do something for two weeks consistently for it to become ingrained as a habit.

•Go to the gym daily for two weeks then miss a few days. Pay attention to how your mood and body reflect the missed sessions.
•Fight constantly with a lover. Decide that you're going to end the relationship if the conflict doesn't cease. Then, once it does, notice how often one of you creates disharmony again. It's as if conflict has become a for m of intimacy.
Decide to get rid of an overload of stress in your life. Then notice how often you set yourself up for it:
•Have you ever put off paying a bill (or even looking at it?) even though you had the money?
•Have you ever watched the fuel gauge in your car dip dangerously close to empty? Only to drive past petrol stations hoping to make it to your destination, even though you have money for petrol with you.
•Have you ever driven without auto insurance or failed to register your car, even though you had the money for these things? Only to drive nervously, watching the rear-view mirror for the police
Adaptation to survival mode is common for many of us who have lived with stress and conflict for a sustained period of time. Overcoming it is not always simple and easy in the short term (most habits have subtle cues as w ell as obvious ones).

But overcoming it is just what needs to happen for our lives to become freeflowing, full, and pleasurable.

How do we overcome survival mode?

By understanding its characteristics and how they show up in our attitude, interpretation of experience and effect on our choices and the options that we believe are available to us is the first step.

It does help to keep even a rudimentary form of journal so that we can consciously maintain awareness of how our actions that sustain it, are working, in what situations and with what people.

It helps to remember and write down a list of experiences (both past and present) that represent times when we have risked change, and the change made things better.

It helps to remember and write down a list of experiences (both past and present) that represent times when we first interpreted someone's actions or words for the possible conflict or stress meaning, but then considered another interpretation that was less negative, and, by reacting from the second interpretation, our experience of the event was better.

Overcoming survival mode frees us to experience life without excessive stress and conflict. If we choose. And what an important choice to make for the sake of our families and ourselves. Especially if we have kids. After all, they learn how to experience life through us. And the emotional energy that we infuse our homes with becomes the normal emotions for them to carry.

Remember the emotional characteristic of your home when you were a child? Homes filled with joy and sustenance raise stable, happy kids who, once they are adults, believe that, regardless of how difficult things get, they'll be OK.

Homes filled with tension and fear raise anxious kids who, once they are adults, are often waiting for something to go wrong and fret easily over things that haven't even happened yet.

From www.chetday.com